Here you may engage in casual Chit-Chat on any subject that does not relate directly to motorhoming.
Forum rules: The usual standards of respect, decency and consideration for others are expected even though this forum will be less rigorously moderated.
 #9702  by bazzanz
 Sat Oct 17, 2009 9:53 am
OK if you object to foul or obscene language ....... nobody dare ask how I am
until advised it is safe to do so. Particularly any members of the fairer sex that
have no appreciation of how many X worse, male suffering is compared to that
which they experience .... the reason of course they manage to cope with normal
day to day commitments at the same time. ( more on that later )

***** see pg 4 below



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, almost the year
2010, I will share equally in the housework. You just do
the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming,
the dishes, and I'll do the rest.... like wandering around
in the garden with a beer in my hand, wondering what
to do.

______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling AA is not an option... I WILL win.
______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say
to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me tenderly while I lie in bed
and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do. So,
for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be
expected to find things like exotic cheeses or tofu. For all
I know, they are the same thing.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person
gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.... Though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
(Applies to engineers mainly).
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,
sex, sports, or sex. I have to make up something else when
you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or
have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she
calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever
you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
And, if you're feeling amorous afterwards, then I will certainly
remember the name and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too... either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it.
Everything looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________
_________________
Best Regards,
 #9708  by Anne Barrett
 Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:54 pm
Because I'm a woman I couldn't resist answering this post and congratulating you on your ability to admit your failings - must be because you are unwell - hope you're better soon :D :)
Cheers
Anne
 #9709  by bazzanz
 Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:13 pm
Anne Barrett wrote:Because I'm a woman I couldn't resist answering this post and congratulating you on your ability to admit your failings - must be because you are unwell - hope you're better soon :D :)
Cheers
Anne
Failings ???????? What failings ?????????

We blokes consider them worthy attributes ... kinda like mixing well with the testosterone !!!
 #9718  by Holistic Palace
 Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:12 am
bazzanz wrote: Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me tenderly while I lie in bed
and moan.
Best Regards,
Careful mate, girlies call that the "man flu" :lol:

Cheers
Rudy
 #9722  by bazzanz
 Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:56 am
Whilst we are on the subject ........

Now here are some more the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!

Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you
sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as rugby,
fishing or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you
know that men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 #9750  by jimandsue
 Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:46 pm
So when will come up with rule number 2 - surely you haven't covered them all yet. Well said, wait for the avalanche of replies from the female followers of the forum. :o :o
 #9866  by bazzanz
 Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:42 am
Kae 'n' Jaez wrote:yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwn :roll:

Sorrry ..... are we keeping you up ????
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