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 #138907  by Nut17
 Mon Mar 19, 2018 7:42 am
I got this from a friend who owns two English cars, which are famous for their Lucas-made electrical systems. Rather than jokes, he says, "these are true."

- - -

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they do still have a claim to "sudden, unexpected darkness."

Lucas -- inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas -- inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas switch -- DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

The other three switch settings -- SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The original anti-theft devices -- Lucas Electric products.

"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...."

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

Did you hear about the Lucas-powered torpedo? It sank.

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner, "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" He replied, "It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens anyway!"

Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.

Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas makes refrigerators, too.

Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the short circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."

Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

 #138917  by idex
 Mon Mar 19, 2018 10:06 am
Chris, I can confirm your friend's opinion. Our Rover V8 is a true electrical wonder too. (I often wonder "What has gone wrong now!")

Yes, Lucas, Prince of Darkness is real.
 #138938  by vansvilla
 Tue Mar 20, 2018 7:57 am
Replacement smoke is still available,
PtNo 530433.
You can also get the Churchhill adaptor and metering valve PtNo 18G548BS
Just Google Lucas Smoke.
 #138941  by Nut17
 Tue Mar 20, 2018 8:35 am
Yes John, the Lucas Smoke is readily available, but I have yet to meet anyone with the ability to install it correctly. Tends to get in your eyes then you cannot see what you are doing anyway :) :D

 #138978  by Andycap
 Wed Mar 21, 2018 1:28 pm
Now, thats where your going wrong , as a user of said smoke for many years back in the old country,if its getting in your eyes your using it the wrong way up ! :idea: :lol: Andy .
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