Forum rules: Please keep this clean and funny.
No smut, nothing that is likely to cause offence to a significant number of members. Any posts that don't meet these rules will be deleted. No correspondence will be entered into.
 #158339  by NeilV
 Sat Jan 25, 2020 8:34 am
Stolen from another site, but so priceless I had to share :)


So I'm sitting in my caravan, cos we've got a shower of rain. can I amuse myself....I know!...I'll complain.
What about that diesel price...just keeps on going up
And bloody cappuccino...four bucks or more a cup

I'm not the whinging kind you know, but I hate it when its later
When humming in the background i can hear a generator.
I've canvassed several others and we've decided that we oughta
Sneak in after dark and fill his petrol tank with water

And what about old mate up there....his ball weights just not right
I put my foot up on his 'A' frame and we discussed it, well into the night
I'm fortunate I suppose you'd say,that I can hand out this advice.
But when you're a caravanning expert, not everyone is nice.

I think that I'm a blessing, as I cruise around the sites
'Helping ' people understand what they're not doing right
...'You should be running different tyres,your suspension isn't great'
I've been there and I've done every territory and state.

I know about the top end....and all about the rock
One lady , well she was just quite rude, she handed me a sock.
Don't even get me started on batteries and solar
And the diesel heater you should use when temperatures are polar.

Because I have all the answers, but I feel I'm underrated
People hide when I approach....I'm not appreciated.
I know every single thing about engine / gearbox ratio
And antennas are my specialty, what do you want to know?

I've been in every park you know, all across the nation
And I know where all the freebies are...or at most a small donation
Im more than willing every day wisdom is to share
But people kind of walk if they just don't care.

So when you see me coming, put the kettle on
I'll settle in and sort you out on where you're going wrong.
Every single park has got a guru just like me
I've got all the advice you need....and I'm giving it for free.
 #158341  by Nut17
 Sat Jan 25, 2020 9:29 am
Definitely a bit of an Aussie theme I reckon :) ;) However it does touch on several points that get aired daily on FB :D
 #158347  by Derb
 Sat Jan 25, 2020 11:41 am
I think I met that guy this morning - on the other side of the window whilst I was shaving😜
Pay with Paymate Express